Ask Peter Mannion

Let the flood of horror commence

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linguini17 asked: Please don't die of alcohol poisoning, Minister. Besides the obvious reason (you being my favorite person in politics currently), some Stewart-esque person would undoubtedly take it as an opportunity to "promote the revivification of abstemious behaviours through the application of various governmental regulations relating to intoxicants of a liquid nature." Or something.

I shall try my hardest not to let that happen. 

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omnishamblestexts: (717): The amount of alcohol I’m going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I’ve had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. If there’s ever a report of me dying from alcohol poisoning, this would be the reason why. 

omnishamblestexts:

(717): The amount of alcohol I’m going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I’ve had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

If there’s ever a report of me dying from alcohol poisoning, this would be the reason why. 

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omnishamblestexts: (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I’m sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. As though drug-free Phil wasn’t annoying enough…

omnishamblestexts:

(828): If we can put a man on the moon, I’m sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

As though drug-free Phil wasn’t annoying enough…

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Anonymous asked: Did you catch The Politician's Husband on TV? And/or Endeavour? Is that very handsome older actor related to you?

I keep being told that he looks like me. I don’t see it myself. 

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asktinamannion asked: Peter, I'm organizing my messages. There's been a sudden influx of women asking permission to sleep with you. Have you put out an ad in the paper? What shall I say?

Yes, I decided to have a torrid affair, and I thought it’d be best if you screened the candidates for me. 

No, really, feel free to tell them to fuck off in what ever manner you like. 

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asktinamannion asked: You look fetching in corduroy trousers and a bit of color near your face. That open collar look is very, oh, shall I say, distracting.

I shall file that bit of information away for later use. 

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Anonymous asked: Do you ever wear jeans? And if so, can we have a pic of your nice backside in jeans?

I’m not really a jeans sort of man. I don’t think casual looks good on me. 

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Anonymous asked: That's okay dear, I don't expect you to be up to the level of the young ones, or the ones who've been walking with us for years. You did just as well as I did. You didn't even snarl at anyone.

It’s difficult to snarl when you can’t breathe. 

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Anonymous asked: Mr. Mannion, did I see you out power walking this morning? You looked like death. Did you know it's legal for anyone you work with to take out a life insurance policy on you without your knowledge? Just sayin. Fergus and your wife had that little friendship going...

Thank you for that horrifying mental image that will now haunt my dreams.